Remember Me?

I've been neglecting the blog again. Just thought I would mention it in case you didn't notice. I don't really feel bad about it since Manda stopped posting like a year ago... now she just tells me to post whatever she wants. She's cute, so it's working for me.

I hate posts like these where I feel pressured to summarize the last two months into a couple of paragraphs. Not going to happen. Just not going to happen.

 Pointless information from the last 2 months:

  • I had gas a couple of times. Gas-X seemed to help.
  • Manda changed her favorite drink to vodka and cranberry.

  • I found out I have tendinitis in my right elbow.

  • Manda decided not to get her hair cut. At one time she had planned to.
  • I hit 5000 miles on my car. It lost its oil-change-virginity yesterday.
  • Manda ran in her first 5K. I was her #1 fan. Short skirt, pom-poms and all.
  • We changed out our rings for our 5 year anniversary. Called it "the 5 year upgrade".
  • Sadly, three of Manda's relatives passed away.

  • Didn't sleep for two days while I made my sister a homemade Christmas present.
  • Manda joined Facebook... FINALLY. My life is so much easier now.
  • My car was officially named Ellen. Give you one guess who the namesake is.  Now I get to say that I turn her on and drive her crazy. *giggles*

Now for a story about Garrison. I know you've missed these the most.

Garrison. My handsome little man himself. He has something like acid reflux... I don't know. It makes him throw up if he doesn't eat. Anyways. Today I was laying on my bed working when he made the non-confusable "I'm going to throw up" stomach wrenching noises. I tossed my laptop aside and grabbed him. We have a routine where he makes the "I'm going to throw up" noises, I grab him, hold him over the trash can and then he throws up. It requires much less clean up and he's actually quite good with his throw-up aim.

Everything went according to the schedule until I misread the "I'm going to throw up a second time" cues. I caught on as his body wretched, summoning up the goods from his belly. I started to swing him around to the trash can... and well, I don't know if the momentum from the swing accelerated the summoning process, but he spewed mid swing. I watched the "goods" fly through the air and hit the bedroom door. Yes. One large mass of green/yellow stomach bile flew through the air and splattered on my bedroom door.

This was immediately funny. I'm still laughing about it. Dog vomit stories are always funny when they don't involve stained carpet and actual vomit landing on me.

Good Times.

My school and work schedules are getting back to normal, so blogging should be more frequent. Or so I hope. :o)

Peace Out

:o)

Crackling Fire...

Three and a half hours in the car was a little much for Garrison who'd never spent more than 45 minutes previously. It was amusing to look in the back seat and see him staring at the floor in boredom. He was a good sport the whole way to Lakeside, where we'd rented a cabin for the weekend.

Lucy helped Manda drive. Lucy feels it necessary to help with tasks such as this. It helps her feel needed. She's attempted cooking and wrapping presents as well, but driving is her most successful assist thus far.

Within a few minutes of arriving we had our fire going... Both pyros to our core, the fire was THE most important part of the trip. The crackling and popping are imperative for roasting marshmallows. And boy did we roast marshmallows.

Manda is always educating me on things. She's a never ending source of new knowledge. Imagine my delight when she taught me that while eating a freshly roasted marshmallow, it can get stuck to the roof of your mouth. Her eyes bulging, I had to remind her that her body comes equipped with a backup breathing device. Breath through your nose! We laughed so hard we cried. This went on for hours. I think this single night alone was the funniest one I've had all year.

Our cabin was roughly 250 square feet. It doesn't take much of a fire to warm that small of a space up... It was 32 degrees outside and we were walking around our cabin, in our underwear, with the windows open, because it was too hot to wear clothing. (No pictures of this, sorry.)  Guess we built the fire a little too big. Which if you ask Manda, is impossible. There is no such thing as "a fire too big". (hence, how we got ourselves into that situation)

Friday night we fell asleep with the fire roaring and the windows open. It was PERFECT... for us. Manda woke around 3am, the fire was out and the cabin was frigid. Poor Garrison was laying on his bed shivering. Turns out it got down to 26 that night. We snuggled him under the covers with us and he slept the rest of the night like a champ. Of course he hogged the bed and kicked in his sleep, but as long as he was warm that's all that matters.

We spend Saturday morning hiking around the lake near our cabin. The dogs were in heaven. Manda and I were frozen. It was damn cold near the lake. We thought about fishing, but decided against it when we considered 1. Who would bait the hooks 2. Who would remove the fish from the hook if we actually caught anything. Neither of us were willing to volunteer for either task, so we spend the rest of the afternoon napping and watching football.

Okay, so I napped and she watched football. All that matters is Alabama beat LSU. Roll Tide!

We roasted turkey-dogs over the fire Saturday night. I hadn't done that since I was a kid. Fortunately, the turkey-dog did not get stuck to the roof of Manda's mouth. Apparently, that delight is isolated soley to marshmallows only.

The trip was a blast and a needed break. We'll definitely be going back again!

Peace Out.

:o)

Sticky Toes.

Had to share this story from a few weeks ago:

In our Alabama induced food coma, we returned to Arizona. We picked the kids up from the borders and since they had that "some larger dog peed on me" smell we took them directly to the doggie salon to get prettied up.

There's a new Petsmart down the street from our house, so we didn't have to drive far. We were hanging out in the entryway of the grooming center for a good 5 minutes when suddenly Manda shrieked.

Yes shrieked.

We both looked down to see Garrison lifting his leg over Manda's feet. She was wearing sandals. Urine was running down her shins and between her toes. Even after the shriek Garrison continued to pee as if it was the most normal thing in the world to lift his leg and pee on his mom.

After Garrison was finished, we both just stood there. Well. Okay. I was laughing hysterically and Manda was letting a few four letter words fly. But there was standing involved.

As I was laughing, the assistant manager of Petsmart walked up to us and between giggles offered to clean Manda's shoes with sanitizer. Manda accepted.  The groomer gave us a few towels to clean up with.

In total, this is the third time in Garrison's young life that he's peed on Manda.

He has never peed on me.

Peace Out.
=o)

Top Ten: Reasons I couldn't sleep last night

I'm tired and don't feel very good... so here's the short and sweet top 10 reasons I couldn't sleep.

10. I've been sick. Wah.

9. The cold medicine wore off. You see, I fell asleep at 9:30... but only slept for an hour before waking up. Drowsy medicine my ass! Double wah.

8. Lucy hogs the covers. For a 10 pound dog, she makes her presence in bed known.

7.  I was freezing.

6.  I was hot. It was one those situations where I would just get comfortable, and then I was hot. So, I would stick my leg out of the covers, only to get cold 2 minutes later. The fun never stopped.

5. Garrison couldn't sleep either. He kept walking around and shaking his collar (Manda calls it his "necklace"). That crap is loud at 2am when its dead silent.

4. I had to pee. Only once though. Not that big of a deal.  Manda went three times. (just in case you were curious)

3. My pillow kept sliding up the headboard... so I would wake with neck pain, only to find one cheek against my shoulder, the other smashed into the pillow. Good thing I have good chiropractic coverage.

2. The clock on my nightstand seemed a LOT brighter than usual.  I could see what time it was through my eyelids.

1. I didn't want to go to work today. Whenever I don't want to go somewhere, I always stay up the night before thinking about all the reasons I don't want to go... This is counterproductive. I realize this. But it can't be helped.

Peace Out.

Ouch. Again.

Garrison's torn paw pad has healed nicely. He was given a clean bill of health from his vet a couple of days ago. If only his health was still clean.

Every month or so, the kids (Lucy and Garrison) get their hair and nails done. They have a hair dresser (or groomer if you must) named Beth. Only Beth decided to get knocked up and had to take maternity leave. She didn't consult us, so we kind of felt like maybe she valued her family than us. :o)

Because our kids were looking nappy, we had to opt for an unknown hair dresser. Shouldn't be a problem right? I mean, how much could she mess up a haircut? *sigh*

Manda picked the kids up from their appointment this morning, only to notice Garrison was bleeding from his back right foot. Odd. He wasn't bleeding when we dropped him off.

Before Manda could even get an explanation, his nail fell off. Yes FELL OFF. Off to vet he went again. Free of charge this time. Free because the hair dresser people paid for it. (The kids get groomed at Petsmart, which thankfully also has a vet)

The hair dresser's only comment? "It could not have happened when I was clipping his toe nails." Hmm. That's kind of like a kid saying "I'm not doing anything" without being solicited.

Thankfully. Her coworkers were much more apologetic. They explained it was a direct result of his nail being cut too short.

Watching Garrison walk now is quite hilarious. He lifts the wrapped foot up much higher and sticks it straight back when walking. Poor guy. Not only does he walk funny. His hair cut is bad. Next thing you know, he'll start getting pimples and require glasses.

Hopefully, Beth's pregnancy situation resolves itself quickly. The kids won't have another appointment until Beth is back.  Not just because Garrison is now missing a toe nail. But because his hair cut is atrocious. Atrocious like a two year old cutting their own bangs with dull scissors.

Beth. Use birth control next time! :o)

Does anyone know where I can get some Lee Press Ons for puppies?

Peace Out.

Ouch.

Garrison. My pride and joy. My little man. I call him "Handsome". He's a dog.

Really

, though. He's our son. (He must have gotten the full body hair gene from someone else.)

Garrison loves to run. Unfortunately, our townhouse doesn't have a backyard, patio or anything close to that. When we first moved in, he attempted to run around the coffee and dining tables. However, wood floors are not known for their traction. After falling over, slamming into walls and embarrassing himself countless times, he now avoids the wood floors. Instead, he hops from rug to rug when he's excited or wants to play. It is actually very cute.

Due to the lack of a backyard, Garrison has grown to love the dog park. His weekly visits are the highlight of his week. I didn't think dogs kept track of what day it was, but he always knows when it's Sunday.

This past Sunday, he was running around with 3 of his friends... Sorry, don't know their names. I know, I shouldn't let our son play with kids I don't even know, but they looked harmless. I don't think they were members of a gang or using drugs. Actually, I don't think Garrison knows their names either. After all, he identifies them by how their butts smell. According to him they're "had diarrhea earlier", "sweaty balls" and "needs to douche".

Anyways, he was running around with his friends. We didn't know he had gymnastic abilities. He launched into some sort of cartwheel, round off back handspring,

with a twist

... only he didn't stick the landing. I personally would have given him a score of 8 if he hand just stuck the landing.

A few minutes later, we noticed him limping around. Upon further inspection, we noticed a tear/cut in the pad of his paw.

It was none-life-threatening. More like a really horrid paper cut. Yet we had absolutely no idea how to fix it. Good thing his doctor's office is just down the street from the dog park AND open on Sundays. 

One hundred and fifty dollars... yes $150... later, he is bandaged up, given a weeks worth of antibiotics and sent home with pain killers. (Really. I thought it was a little much.)

He's only managed to remove his bandage once, which resulted in us wrapping his leg with athletic tape. He hasn't managed to get that off yet. But he is smart. I have no doubt he'll figure that one out.

Peace Out.

Gonna take a Trip?.

One might call us accident prone, or clumsy. Personally, I would simply describe us as a disaster in the days before catching our flight to Vegas for Dana's Bachelorette Party. Of course, this is meant in the funniest way possible. Funny. Because people hurting themselves is always funny.

Kidneys are important for several reasons. So, imagine my surprise when 4 days before we're supposed to leave, the act of peeing became painful. Manda suggested I call the doctor. But what rational sense did that make? Really the doctor? Simply because it hurts to pee? Nah. That's a waste of 3 or 4 perfectly good minutes of my day.

What's that saying? Hind site is 20/20?

Two days later, intense abdominal pain finally prompted me to contact my doctor. Personally, I think he overreacted with the suggestion to go the ER. Really, it was just intense abdominal pain. Antibiotics would clear that up.

And they did. What I didn't see coming was my hip going out the very night I started the antibiotics. Yes, one day before our flight to Vegas. Despite the antibiotics, I still had pain while peeing because it hurt to sit down! I tried peeing standing up, but after having to change my socks 3 times, I just gave up on it. Women were just not meant to pee this way.

Two doctor visits and a muscle relaxer later, I found myself taking the puppies out to pee before we left for the airport. This innocent and often repeated act, took a turn for the worse when Garrison's retractable leash attacked me. Yes. Attacked me. Three of my much needed, and often used, fingers were savagely strangled and burned. It hurt. A lot. I screamed. But not a girly scream. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me.

After throwing the leashes in Manda's direction, I limped, yes limped. (remember the hip thing?) back into the house, and stuck my hand under the faucet. I needed to put out the flames that were arching off my fingers. Unfortunately, *sigh* anyone who lives in Phoenix knows there is no such thing as cold water coming out of a faucet in the summer. Impossible. Not gonna happen. Please try again in 6 months.

At this point I was jumping up and down (This helps the pain. Try it. It works) yelling things I hope small children didn't here. This situation was serious. Thankfully, a firefighter (she was short, blond, really cute.) arrived with ice. It was from the freezer. It was perfect. The pain subsided. Temporarily.

For the next 12 hours, I walked around with an ice pack on my hand. If the ice melted, which it did on occasion, I would cry until additional ice was found. Yes. I was a baby.

Things couldn't get worse could they? Right. I'll let Manda take it from here.

Peace Out.
Lindsay