Sometimes our lives are not funny or interesting. Sometimes we're doing boring things like laundry, sleeping or simply watching tv. I know this information has a good chance of ruining our flashy-exciting image, but I am feeling particularly gutsy today. I'm putting it out there.
Since I'm feeling gutsy, I'm gonna divulge all kinds of embarrassing information. We'll likely lose members of the cult we started last week. Whatever, we don't need any losers that quit. Our cult will still reach its goal of banning paper in the hopes of preventing unnecessary and painful paper cuts.
Back to that information I'm going to share. Did you know that I don't like wearing clothes that fit?... I like clothes 1-4 sizes too large. It is very rare to see me in clothes that actually fit. Manda often says "it looks like a family of jews moved out of the ass of your pants." *shrugs*
The other day I had to get a renal ultrasound... fascinating right? That's not even the good part. I drank 3/4 of a gallon of water within 2 hours of my appointment. I allowed myself the pleasure of peeing twice within those 2 hours. By the time I arrived to the ultrasound place, my bladder hurt so bad, I was sure it was bursting slowly. I'm sweating just thinking about it. I don't know that I've ever been that close to peeing myself in my adult life. Well. There was that time when we were snorkeling off the coast of Cozumel. Only I actually did pee myself that time. I was swimming at the time. For some reason that makes it okay.
Back to our cult. The joining process is simple. You must submit a handwritten easy, no less than 25 pages long, detailing all the reasons you think we're cool. Or you could just leave a comment.
Peace Out.
:o)
Dosing Off.
Being a lung surgeon just simply wasn't enough for me. Apparently, I had way too much time on my hands. So I decided to go back to graduate school. I want more meaningless pieces of paper supposedly representing my intelligence. They look good in frames.
I'm sitting in class right now. This class is four hours long. That's a long ass time. Try sitting still for 4 hours. Listening to a little Asian man. With an accent. Talking about things that make you wish you were doing something more exciting. Paint drying sounds fun. Or maybe somebody is growing some grass somewhere that I could watch. I'm desperate enough that spending time with the molester is appealing at this point.
We just had a break and I bought some strawberry flavored mentos from the market here on campus. I'll be suffering from a sugar crash in about an hour and a half. But really, who can resist strawberry mentos? Not me.
Manda's taking a Spanish class right now. My little southern girl is learning to speak Spanish with a southern accent. I am continually smiling because I don't think she could get any cuter.
I have nothing interesting to say. I am just bored.
*wishing Scottie would beam me up*
Peace Out.
:o)
I'm sitting in class right now. This class is four hours long. That's a long ass time. Try sitting still for 4 hours. Listening to a little Asian man. With an accent. Talking about things that make you wish you were doing something more exciting. Paint drying sounds fun. Or maybe somebody is growing some grass somewhere that I could watch. I'm desperate enough that spending time with the molester is appealing at this point.
We just had a break and I bought some strawberry flavored mentos from the market here on campus. I'll be suffering from a sugar crash in about an hour and a half. But really, who can resist strawberry mentos? Not me.
Manda's taking a Spanish class right now. My little southern girl is learning to speak Spanish with a southern accent. I am continually smiling because I don't think she could get any cuter.
I have nothing interesting to say. I am just bored.
*wishing Scottie would beam me up*
Peace Out.
:o)
New Shoes.
Our life is boring. You want to know how boring? So boring that the most exciting thing to happen in the last two weeks is that I got new tires on my SUV.
Now before you shriek with jealously, let me expound on the excitement even further. The installation took 45 minutes and I ate Sonic while I waited. Not just any Sonic meal. I got a delightful cherry limeade drink. Don't even get me started on the tater-tots.
So $87 million dollars later my car is driving around with new shoes. And you know what? It can drive faster now.
Remember when you were a kid and a new pair of shoes increased your running speed by at least 31.5%? That's how my car is. It just wants to drive places so it can go fast.
Plus, like a kid with new shoes, it feels more attractive. Despite the inch of dirt surrounding the entire exterior, I caught my car looking at itself in the reflection of the car in front of us. I am hoping this increased self esteem will have a positive impact on my gas mileage.
Manda's thinking of getting new tires now too. Only she has to one-up me and get the kind of new tires that come with a new car. It turns out, we're pretty competitive.
Anyways. Now that you all know my car has new tires, I feel significantly closer to you. Maybe I'll invite you over sometime and we can sit and stare at my tires. Please, don't every one volunteer to hang out with me at once.
Peace Out.
Emily Tagged Me.
Not being familiar with the "tagging" process, I had to read the rules. Apparently someone tags you in their blog and then you're obligated to do what they say. Soooo...
Manda... Tag - please do the dishes. (I'll let you know if this works.)
Anyways. Back to Emily's tag:
A. The rules of this game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers the question about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people (or 3 if you don't have 5 friends) and posts their names, and then leaves a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog to get the directions.
Questions:
10 yrs ago:
I was in my first year in college. I was working one full time job, one part time job and going to school full time. Nasty routine, but it has definitely paid off.
5 Things on my list of things to do today:
Since it is 8pm, my to-do list is pretty much checked off. But I'll recap. I had a doctor's appointment. That was it. The rest of my day was spent nursing my sick girl. (Manda has the flu). We spent most of the day laying around reading and watching TV. (Don't hate and get jealous of our exciting life. Not everyone has the energy for all this activity.)
Things I would do if I suddenly became a billionaire:
We would suddenly become world travelers. That's it.
3 of my bad habits:
Manda says I mouth breathe sometimes when I'm sleeping. According to her that's really annoying. I constantly move. Whether I am tapping my foot, the table or spinning my phone around. Something is moving. I don't read instructions thoroughly.
Places I have lived:
Idaho, Utah, Arizona
Jobs I have had:
Call girl, hooker, janitor and now lung surgeon. I've moved up a lot in the last few years.
Things most people don't know about me:
I sometimes sleep with gum in my mouth and then chew it again the next day. I clip my finger nails every couple of days because dirt underneath my fingernails is enough to drive me completely insane. And after 7 years of driving a stick, I still stall and grind the gears weekly.
So, now I tag Manda, Alisa and Tracey (no pun intended... lol).
Click. Forward.
As I mentioned before. I recently aged a year. Not that aging happens in one year chunks. I mean, we're constantly getting older. However, my age-ometer doesn't have decimal places. I don't have the digital model... It's an all or nothing thing. I'm either 27 or 28. Not 27.2834.
So. Yeah. I'm older. My birthday actually occurred while we were in Seattle. Exploring a new place with my favorite person in the world was a fun way to celebrate.
Initially, I thought this new year was no big thing. However, I'm beginning to think I smile too much... Last week I noticed smile lines on my face. Either they weren't there before or my eyesight is actually improving with age.
Other than the wrinkles, everything else seems to be in working order. My biceps are still so big. I am actually more comfortable in my wrinkling skin this year than last year. I guess the more skin wrinkles the more comfortable it is... The easier it is to smile and laugh.
People keep telling me that my thirties will be the best. That women only get better in their 30's... You might be wondering. Is it possible for me to get ANY better? Is there any room for improvement? Yes. Just ask Manda. :o) Good thing she loves all of me. Including my wrinkles.
Peace Out.
Lonely?
Alone. Bored. Nothing to do. How do you pass the time? I had to figure that out while Lindsay was in Seattle. What did I do, you ask?
Had parties. Slept around. All the typical things you do when you are all alone and bored, right? Riiiight.
Honestly, I worked long hours and counted the minutes until I could talk to my girl. I was a miserable mess without her here. =o(
I did get to take my first trip to Seattle on Lindsay's birthday. That was a good time. Got to mingle with the locals and sample the local culture. Would definitely go back.
L8R.
Manda
Had parties. Slept around. All the typical things you do when you are all alone and bored, right? Riiiight.
Honestly, I worked long hours and counted the minutes until I could talk to my girl. I was a miserable mess without her here. =o(
I did get to take my first trip to Seattle on Lindsay's birthday. That was a good time. Got to mingle with the locals and sample the local culture. Would definitely go back.
L8R.
Manda
I missed you too.
Neglect. That's what I've done to this blog. It is lonely. It never gets any attention from me. I am a bad blogger. My only consolation in this is that it is partially Manda's fault. She's been neglecting the blog too.
What have I been up to? My life is mundane and boring... All bragging aside. I did drive a sweet Ford Focus around Seattle for two weeks. It matched my eyes. It was green.
My age-ometer clicked forward one year. This is the oldest I've ever been. It's new and exciting. And I did get molested by a stranger. A cute, well mannered stranger. Manda was thrilled when I told her. Super thrilled. Thrilled in the way people are when they aren't thrilled at all. :o)
The edge of your seat. That's where you're sitting right now. I'll try not to make you balance there too long.
Be back soon.
Peace Out.
Lindsay
What have I been up to? My life is mundane and boring... All bragging aside. I did drive a sweet Ford Focus around Seattle for two weeks. It matched my eyes. It was green.
My age-ometer clicked forward one year. This is the oldest I've ever been. It's new and exciting. And I did get molested by a stranger. A cute, well mannered stranger. Manda was thrilled when I told her. Super thrilled. Thrilled in the way people are when they aren't thrilled at all. :o)
The edge of your seat. That's where you're sitting right now. I'll try not to make you balance there too long.
Be back soon.
Peace Out.
Lindsay