100 Things...

Saw this on a few different blogs and thought it was fun. Here are 100 things about me:

1. I am the middle child of 5
2. People tell me middle children have issues
3. I don't know if they're trying to tell me something.
4. I have an older brother
5. older sister
6. younger sister
7. younger brother
8. There are 8 years between me and my older brother
9. and 4 years between me and my younger brother.
10. My family tells me I am a female version of my father.
11. That's because him and I have similar personalities
12. and senses of humor.
13. Of course, I think my dad is awesome.
14. I am a geek.
15. People disagree with me until I start talking about my job.
16. That shuts them up
17. and makes their eyes glaze over
18. Turns out my job isn't that interesting.
19. But I love it
20. It suites my A.D.D.
21. That's because I'm always working on 10 things at once.
22. I'm in love with my best friend.
23. Thankfully the feeling is mutual.
24. We've been together almost 5 years.
25. We have two kids
26. With four legs
27. and a tale each.
28. I used to have a cat
29. named Trojan.
30. While I was packing for a trip, he peed in my suitcase
31. and I didn't find out until I reached my destination.
32. All my clothes smelled like cat piss.
33. Somehow he lived through that.
34. I used to have a dog
35. named Browser.
36. He was standing next to me in the kitchen one time
37. when I heard a noise
38. I looked down to see projectile diarrhea shooting out his ass.
39. He just stood there like it wasn't happening.
40. I still laugh about that now.
41. I played basketball in high school.
42. Made varsity my sophomore year.
43. I was a long range shooter
44. who played small forward.
45. During a game, a teammate and I ran smack dab into each other
46. while running opposite directions on the court.
47. I had a black eye for a week.
48. Another time I stepped on a teammates foot
49. during warm ups
50. sprained my ankle.
51. I was in a walking cast for a month.
52. The other day, I ran into a wall at work
53. that's been there since the day I started
54. 7.5 years ago.
55. Turns out I'm kind of a klutz.
56. My favorite food is tortilla soup
57. with chicken
58. and not a lot of onions.
59. I detest onions
60. and tomatoes
61. and green bell peppers.
62. My mom loves green bell peppers.
63. I also love pesto
64. and pasta.
65. and PB&J.
66. But not necessarily together.
67. We shop at Target
68. at least once a week.
69. Sometimes we like to go there just to hang out.
70. We have friends that hang out there too.
71. Not at our Target, but theirs.
72. We detest Walmart.
73. I refuse to shop there.
74. I'd pay twice as much for stuff just not to shop there.
75. I'm not hairy.
76. I can go 3 days without shaving my legs
77. and there's barely any hair.
78. I have to cut my finger nails often.
79. Almost every other day.
80. I can't handle any white showing
81. or hang nails.
82. I like my eyebrows.
83. They're very low maintenance.
84. They might be my best feature
85. next to my eyes
86. and lips
87. and  biceps.
88. I have the boobs in my family.
89. Or at least my sister's tell me that.
90. I'm not complaining
91. nor do I get complaints from others.
92. Caffeine gives me headaches
95. I'm stupid for drinking Diet Coke lately.
96. Black olives never get old.
97. They're good with everything
98. except cereal.
99. I call loofah sponges, oompaloompas
100. Because I can never remember the word "loofah". (yes I had to confirm with Manda what they were really called.)

Peace Out.
:o)

Top Ten: Manda Bday Adventures

Okay. I know it's not Tuesday. I'm breaking precedent here, but since I wrote this on Thursday  and Thursday starts with a "T" too, I thought I could get away with it. Maybe it needs to be Th-op Th-en Th-ursday?... It'll just sound  like I have a speech impediment. No big deal since I look like I should have one  anyways. 

As I mentioned before, Manda's mother Carol, aunt Rhonda and cousin  Jessie were in town for her birthday. You might be wondering how I survived 4  days and 3 nights with four women from Alabama? Simple. I developed a southern  accent and tried to fit in amongst the foreigners. :o)

Actually, Manda's family is a riot. When asked what Carol wanted to do when she was here, she had two answers: see Menopause the Musical and meet our friends. Here's the run down on the fun we  had:

10. Staying up late, eating home made peanut butter cake, talking "girl talk". It reminded me of my college days when my roommates used to sit eating a gallon of ice cream exclaiming "I'm so fat!"... only to utter "why don't any of the guys like me?!" a few minutes later. Classic good times right there.

9. Trekking to Scottsdale to attend "Menopause the Musical".  I learned a lot about "the change" as they called it. It was hilarious until it got awkward. Turns out this musical has a naughty side. More about that later. 

8. Driving to the summit of South Mountain. I almost drove off the rode several times due to the scenery. Luckily, everyone's screams brought me back to reality in time to steer back onto the road. We took the puppies too. Garrison wore his

brand new

backpack. Not five minutes after we got out of the car, he lifted his leg and peed all over the side of it. Fantastic.

7. Introducing Manda's family to "the boys" (Stoney and Tony). By the end of the evening the boys were receiving far more attention than Manda and I. What is it with straight women and gay men!?

6. Carol wanted to go dancing. When asked where she wanted to go, she replied "where you guys normally go." Okay, one lesbian bar coming up. This resulted in Carol, wide-eyed and smiling, dancing her butt off in a lesbian bar. When question about her wide-eyed-ness, she responded. "I have led a sheltered life. This is all very new to me. But I am having a great time."

5. Having dinner with 6 of our closest friends at one of our favorite restaurants (Sam's Cafe). Not only was dinner good, but the company was better. Plus, dessert was comped. Being the cheap bastard that I am, that alone made all the planning worth while.

Stoney and Tony are missing from this picture. But in their place is a large pillar. I have no clue why we're all cuddle around that thing like it's freaking Santa Claus.

4. Watching Carol drink 6 margaritas. Then when my back was turned, having her stab me in the butt with a fork and exclaim "I forked you!". Really. What does one say to something like that? "Thank you" doesn't seem adequate. In the heat of the moment, all I could think to say was: "Why, yes you did." ( A side note: I used to think I was smooth. But I am finding more and more evidence that I'm really not.)

3. Taking Manda's family to a gay country western bar and watching Carol, Rhonda and Jessie's  eyes light up at all the attractive men. Then watching their eyes dim when they  realized they were all gay. One of them muttered: "what a waste."

2.  Getting to the naughty part of Menopause the Musical. Somewhere towards the end, the topic turned to sex... or the lack there of. The actresses exclaimed "what you need is mommy's

real

little helper", then started singing a version of "Good vibrations" which included  lyrics like "She's needing some good vibrations... ".  Then came a version of Tina Turner's song What's Love Got To Do With it... only the lyrics included: "Who needs romancing for your own private dancing..."  I managed to avoid all eye contact with Manda's mother during  this portion of the entertainment.  After the show, Carol kept saying "I don't think you liked it... I didn't see you laughing very much."... yeah. Cuz it got

really

awkward in some parts.

1. Witnessing Carol meet her first drag queen. Then witnessing her  feel the drag queen up. Then listening to her say "her boobs might look real,  but they're not" for the next 3 hours.

To summarize: Manda's family came, Manda got older, Manda's family left. Somewhere in the middle a great time was had by all. For more photos, visit our

picasa

.

Peace Out.

:o)

Emily Tagged Me.

Not being familiar with the "tagging" process, I had to read the rules. Apparently someone tags you in their blog and then you're obligated to do what they say. Soooo...

Manda... Tag - please do the dishes. (I'll let you know if this works.)

Anyways. Back to Emily's tag:

A. The rules of this game are posted at the beginning.
B. Each player answers the question about themselves.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people (or 3 if you don't have 5 friends) and posts their names, and then leaves a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog to get the directions.

Questions:
10 yrs ago:
I was in my first year in college. I was working one full time job, one part time job and going to school full time. Nasty routine, but it has definitely paid off.

5 Things on my list of things to do today
:
Since it is 8pm, my to-do list is pretty much checked off. But I'll recap. I had a doctor's appointment. That was it.  The rest of my day was spent nursing my sick girl. (Manda has the flu). We spent most of the day laying around reading and watching TV. (Don't hate and get jealous of our exciting life. Not everyone has the energy for all this activity.)

Things I would do if I suddenly became a billionaire:

We would suddenly become world travelers. That's it.

3 of my bad habits
:
Manda says I mouth breathe sometimes when I'm sleeping. According to her that's really annoying. I constantly move. Whether I am tapping my foot, the table or spinning my phone around. Something is moving. I don't read instructions thoroughly.

Places I have lived:

Idaho, Utah, Arizona

Jobs I have had:

Call girl, hooker, janitor and now lung surgeon. I've moved up a lot in the last few years.

Things most people don't know about me:
I sometimes sleep with gum in my mouth and then chew it again the next day. I clip my finger nails every couple of days because dirt underneath my fingernails is enough to drive me completely insane. And after 7 years of driving a stick, I still stall and grind the gears weekly.

So, now I tag Manda, Alisa and Tracey (no pun intended... lol).

Top Ten: Reasons I couldn't sleep last night

I'm tired and don't feel very good... so here's the short and sweet top 10 reasons I couldn't sleep.

10. I've been sick. Wah.

9. The cold medicine wore off. You see, I fell asleep at 9:30... but only slept for an hour before waking up. Drowsy medicine my ass! Double wah.

8. Lucy hogs the covers. For a 10 pound dog, she makes her presence in bed known.

7.  I was freezing.

6.  I was hot. It was one those situations where I would just get comfortable, and then I was hot. So, I would stick my leg out of the covers, only to get cold 2 minutes later. The fun never stopped.

5. Garrison couldn't sleep either. He kept walking around and shaking his collar (Manda calls it his "necklace"). That crap is loud at 2am when its dead silent.

4. I had to pee. Only once though. Not that big of a deal.  Manda went three times. (just in case you were curious)

3. My pillow kept sliding up the headboard... so I would wake with neck pain, only to find one cheek against my shoulder, the other smashed into the pillow. Good thing I have good chiropractic coverage.

2. The clock on my nightstand seemed a LOT brighter than usual.  I could see what time it was through my eyelids.

1. I didn't want to go to work today. Whenever I don't want to go somewhere, I always stay up the night before thinking about all the reasons I don't want to go... This is counterproductive. I realize this. But it can't be helped.

Peace Out.

Top Ten: Things you never wanted to know about me

1. When I was in grade school, I told my mom I didn't like having my fingernails painted because it interfered with my ability to write. How brilliant I was as a child. I still like my nails sans color. 

2. I'd rather read a book than watch TV, a movie or listen to music. What can I say? My imagination is much better than anyone else's. That's not to say I wouldn't sell my body on the street for good music. Because I totally would. But I wouldn't be a $20 music hooker... I'd be more like Heidi Fleiss. So. Let's just say, I could buy a lot more than good music! :o)

3. I really am easily amused. Anyone who has ever seen me get the giggles knows this. There is something to be said for finding the humor and silliness in life. If I totally fart while my chiropractor is adjusting me... How is THAT not funny?? A bit awkward for the doctor, but totally funny for me. (True story by the way)

4. I like to think I'm smooth. I like to think nothing gets me frazzled or embarrassed. But really. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. And I'm as awkward as they come. When hit on by people, my IQ drops 50 points and I say things like "What's your sign?", "Please don't follow me out to my car." or "*giggle* you have an accent." It really is amazing I'm not single.

5. I can become hyper-focused on things. Currently, I am obsessed with tortilla soup. If it is on the menu, I order it. In fact, I had it 3 times, from 3 different restaurants in the past 3 days. Now, you might be wondering a few things. Freaking Eh!? How many times did I go out to eat? Was it good all 3 times? Why fixate on tortilla soup? Answers: 3, no, and because I can.

6.I totally have A.D.D. Sometimes having conversations with me is like talking to a 3 year old. I am easily distracted by shiny objects and click through the channels on the TV like I'm flipping through a magazine. This contributes to my complete randomness when initiating new topics of conversation. I forget a lot of birthdays and can't remember what I wore yesterday, not to mention what the name of the person I met five minutes ago was.

7. Getting things in the mail is like Christmas to me. Think about it. The package/envelope has my name on it. I have no idea what is in it. For a brief moment before ripping it open, I am convinced it contains the one thing I really want. Now that "one thing" varies from moment to moment. Could be a new bike, a Mac Book Pro, a batch of Manda's grandmother's peanut brittle... OR it could be the cream that will finally get rid of that pesky rash.

8. I constantly joke about a non-existent rash. This never stops being funny. Sometimes I pretend other people have this rash. I do this by randomly asking them in front of other people "hey, i see you're itching your arm... rash still bothering you?" or "hey, thanks for letting me borrow your rash ointment. It's really helped with the burning and itching." Yes, I'm aware this is odd. But seriously, the look on people's faces is always funny.

9. I had 3 cavities the last time I went to the dentist. Amazing since it had been over 4 years since my last visit. What can I say? Dentists remind me of used car salesmen. Really. They tell you that you have 3 cavities and how do you know they're telling you the truth? Can you read x-rays? I can't.  This last time I only knew they were being honest because the teeth they pointed out corresponded with the intense shooting pain I was experiencing. Funny how that works out.

10. I currently want to buy a Cadillac CTS. Not because they're nice cars. Not because I need one. Not even because my dad owns one and I love driving it. I only want one because that is what Kate Walsh was driving in the Cadillac commercial where she asked me if my car turned me on.  No. My car does not turn me on. Wouldn't it be strange if it did? Long commutes would certainly be more interesting. And I'm pretty sure the accident rates would rise as well. "I'm sorry officer, I drive a stick shift and I was just trying grind it till if found the right gear..."

As I think of more things you wouldn't want to know about me, I'll pass them a long. (Lucky You!)

Peace out.

Top Ten: 2007 Holiday Adventures

Okay, so it's been a while for Top Ten Tuesdays... But I'm bringing them back. This week its the top ten adventures from my 2007 Holidays.

1. Surprising Manda's family for Thanksgiving. I thought her grandmother was going to have a heart attack she was so surprised. Luckily, she lived through it. Manda's cousin Brandy had the best reaction. She actually cried. I love people that cry (in a good way) at my surprise presence.  (Actually she was happier to see Manda. Which I guess is understandable since they've been best friends their whole lives.)

2. Learning to knit. My mother is famous for asking me to make her things for Christmas. Last year it was a quilt. This year it was a hat and scarf. To make things interesting (and to encourage the early onset of arthritis) I decided to teach myself to knit. It was a long, painful success. Mom loved her scarf (and I loved making it for her). The hat however was a disaster and I threw the bastard away.

3. Spending two hours talking to Manda's dad about being a firefighter-paramedic. This is an adventure because it was the first conversation he's ever had with me that consisted of more than 3 words. The entire time I was racking my brain for questions about a topic I know nothing about. AND to make it even more crazy, he looked me in the eyes the whole time.  I do believe he might like me.

4. Finding a vibrating "massager" in Manda's grandparent's house. It had attachments. Glad to know her grandparents still have the energy. Enough said.

5.  Traversing the strip in Las Vegas to make our dinner reservations at the Bellagio.  Running through crowds, dodging the "scary" people and laughing our asses off is always fun.

6. Sleeping curled up on a bench, with my neck at a ninety degree angle, while freezing my ass off in the Vegas airport. It took days for the kink in my neck to go away, but it was worth it.

7.  Taking Garrison and Lucy to the dog park on Christmas day. It was cold. The wind was cranking. And I forgot my jacket.  I couldn't leave though, the puppies were too ecstatic not to be stuck in the house watching me knit. I cut glass with my nips for an hour, but they loved every second.

8. Buying my directionally challenged girl a GPS unit for Christmas. I searched several stores only to find it out of stock everywhere. I ended up paying a fortune to express ship it... but it was all worth it. She not only loves it, but can now find her way anywhere! ... *sniff sniff* She's just growing up so fast...

9. Attending Manda's work Christmas party. She got TRASHED. In four and a half years, this is only the 2nd time I'd seen her drunk. Getting her to do anything was like herding a cat. She was adorable though. I've never been told I was "so beautiful" so many times. Thankfully, despite the A.D.D. issue, she's a cheery, happy, funny drunk.

10. Getting a gnarly upset stomach at Manda's parents house. Then being directed to use the "semi functional" guest toilet only to find that it wasn't functional at all AFTER I tried to flush. The toilet overflowed and was so clogged Manda's dad had to scoop my poo out with a cup into a bucket. I then watched as Manda carried this bucket down the hill to the woods by their house and dumped it out... more than once. The best part of this adventure? Manda told her dad  that she did it. In fact her exact words to her dad were: "Bet you never thought you'd be cleaning up my sh*t again." I love this woman! :o)

Hope your holidays were equally as adventurous!

Peace Out.

Top Ten: Reasons I love Manda

Manda and I have two anniversaries. Today is one of them. Four years ago today, we began.

So. Here are 10 reasons I love Manda. (Please forgive the cheesiness and possible sappiness that will follow)

1. Her southern accent. She can get away with saying anything she wants, as long as there is a drawl to it.

2. The girl can dance. And I don't mean on tables or around poles. Though I'd be OK with that. :o) She's got more rhythm in her pinky than I have in my whole body.

3. She is methodical to a fault. Brushing her teeth consists of 10 steps. Tucking in her shirt consists of two steps per layer. Washing her hands consists of 8 steps. And on. And on.

3 & 1/2. Her thumb nails. She keeps them longer than the rest. I don't know why she does this. I've never asked her. But I don't care why.

4. She is magnetic. I am drawn to her.

5. She makes me feel safe. And not because she keeps a gun on her nightstand. (though that helps)

5 & 1/2. Her face when she finds something genuinely amusing. It lights up. Her eyes twinkle.

6. She folds my laundry perfectly. When I fold clothes, they end up wrinkled. When she folds clothes, they don't. It's almost like a hidden talent.

7. She is honest. If I ask her "do these pants make me look fat?" She will tell me if they do. And because she says it in her cute southern accent, it doesn't offend me.

7 & 1/2. Her sense of self. She knows who she is. And she is proud of it.

8. She puts up with my infatuation with Ellen DeGeneres. Seriously. You have no idea how much patience this requires.

9. She is beautiful.

9 & 1/2. She is open. She is uncensored. She just is.

10. She has no sense of direction. None. Nadda. Zero. Getting phone calls that start with "how do I get home from

here

?"... Only she doesn't know where

here

is.

Happy anniversary Babe.

Peace Out.

Top Ten Tuesdays.

So, Sina (a good friend since we were roommates in college) started "Top Ten Tuesdays".  Basically, every Tuesday she does a different top ten list. She now has a bunch of us copying her. She is such a trend setter. :o)

I am behind the times, last week's topic was "Albums". Here's my list.

1. Ten, Pearl Jam: My very first CD. It has been a part of every major event in my life since I was 12. It was the beginning of something.

2. The Crossing, Meg Hutchinson: This CD just is. I can listen to it from beginning to end, anytime of the day, no matter my mood. I'll never tire of this album.

3. The Other Side, Melissa Ferrick: Although I fell in love with her music years ago, this album was the first of her's that I truly connected with. It's amazing how you can listen to music and feel as if someone channeled you to write it.

4. Details, Frou Frou: I discovered this album during one of the hardest times in my life. It was a life saver.

5. Fortune Cookies, Alana Davis: I been singing along to this CD for 5 years... and I'm not done yet! When I'm in the mood to listen to something and I don't know what, this is often my choice.

6. The Hits, Reo Speedwagon & Gold - Greatest Hits, ABBA: These CDs just make me happy and remind me of my first major, real unreciprocated crush in college. Plus, they are classics!

7. Jagged Little Pill, Alanis Morissette: This defined my high school years. It brought me together with all the other jaded women in the world wanting to be heard. Even now, my inner-angry-biotch needs to vent.

8. Live at the Acropolis, Yanni: I don't want any crap for this album. I love it, because my parents loved it. I listen to it and am instantaneously ported back to my childhood.

9. Sogno, Andrea Bocelli: Just a timeless album... and the only opera I like.

10. Melt, Rascal Flatts: When I want to feel, I listen to this. I fell in love to this album.