Sticky Toes.

Had to share this story from a few weeks ago:

In our Alabama induced food coma, we returned to Arizona. We picked the kids up from the borders and since they had that "some larger dog peed on me" smell we took them directly to the doggie salon to get prettied up.

There's a new Petsmart down the street from our house, so we didn't have to drive far. We were hanging out in the entryway of the grooming center for a good 5 minutes when suddenly Manda shrieked.

Yes shrieked.

We both looked down to see Garrison lifting his leg over Manda's feet. She was wearing sandals. Urine was running down her shins and between her toes. Even after the shriek Garrison continued to pee as if it was the most normal thing in the world to lift his leg and pee on his mom.

After Garrison was finished, we both just stood there. Well. Okay. I was laughing hysterically and Manda was letting a few four letter words fly. But there was standing involved.

As I was laughing, the assistant manager of Petsmart walked up to us and between giggles offered to clean Manda's shoes with sanitizer. Manda accepted.  The groomer gave us a few towels to clean up with.

In total, this is the third time in Garrison's young life that he's peed on Manda.

He has never peed on me.

Peace Out.
=o)

Pee Dance.

I forget to pee. I forget to pee a lot. To me it's like stopping to fill your car with gas. It's a waste of time.

Just because I forget to pee, doesn't mean I don't have to go. In fact, I can be doing the pee dance one minute and then my A.D.D. kicks in and I completely forget about it. And what's even better is my bladder seems to forget as well. Who knew A.D.D. was a full body thing? It works out really well. Especially during those long lung transplant surgeries.

That is until my A.D.D. wanes and I suddenly have to pee again. This results in me suddenly resuming my panicky pee dance. I admit to using methods such as crotch grabbing and leg crossing to ease the urge. I find making noises helps as well. I'm just saying.

This cycle can go on all day. And I literally mean all day. There are days I pee when I get up, But I don't go again until I get home from work... sometimes 7 or 8pm.

While I realize this is hell on my kidneys and bladder, I really can't help it. A.D.D. is A.D.D. I really do forget. Manda just shakes her head at me. She's given up on solving this problem.

I have a good buddy at work. We socialize on the weekends sometimes. Thus she is very aware of my problem of forgetting to pee. She came up with a comical solution to my problem.

She sent me a meeting request for 3:30pm every day. The title of this meeting request? "Go Pee!". The location of this meeting? "Whatever restroom is closest".

I usually giggle a little and hit dismiss every time the reminder for the "meeting" pops up. (We've never actually met in the nearest restroom at 3:30. That might be a little weird. I don't like hearing my friends pee. I always feel awkward, like I'm seeing them naked. Plus, I don't want to know if they're somebody who farts while they pee. Seriously. *shivers*)

I never really thought about deleting the meeting as I think it's hilarious.

Well a few days ago, I was having problems with my computer at work. So, naturally I contact the IT guy. (what does a lung surgeon know about computers?... psssh. ) Him and I are cordial, but by no means friends. So, while we're chatting on the phone, he says "let me remote into your laptop and try to fix your issue." Sure, why not.

Well, he'd been working in my computer for 15 minutes or so when the meeting reminder pops up. Yep, right in the middle of my computer screen it says: "Go Pee!!!!!!!!!", with that clever location of "Whatever restroom is closest." right underneath it.

I freeze because there is no way he doesn't see the pop up, plus he has control of my computer.

He goes silent on the phone. I'm silent because I'm not sure whether I should acknowledge what is on the screen or perhaps feign ignorance as to how that got on my calendar. Something like "This must be a mistake, I don't need reminders to pee..."

I decide to say nothing and try to get it off the screen. Not sure if my mouse works, I grab it and try clicking "dismiss" on the meeting reminder.

And I'm actually not sure who hit dismiss. I think I did, but after the meeting request disappeared, he kept working like he'd never seen it.

There are probably rumors going around about how I wear adult diapers because I have problems peeing. Or that this coworker and I meeting every afternoon in the restroom to pee together. Which really, all things considered, these are pretty tame rumors. Especially since I started that one about the proctologist down the hall and his jar of mayo. Don't ask.

I still have the meeting on my calendar. I really do need the reminder. As for my computer, it still isn't working properly.

Peace Out.

=o)

Top Ten: Reasons I couldn't sleep last night

I'm tired and don't feel very good... so here's the short and sweet top 10 reasons I couldn't sleep.

10. I've been sick. Wah.

9. The cold medicine wore off. You see, I fell asleep at 9:30... but only slept for an hour before waking up. Drowsy medicine my ass! Double wah.

8. Lucy hogs the covers. For a 10 pound dog, she makes her presence in bed known.

7.  I was freezing.

6.  I was hot. It was one those situations where I would just get comfortable, and then I was hot. So, I would stick my leg out of the covers, only to get cold 2 minutes later. The fun never stopped.

5. Garrison couldn't sleep either. He kept walking around and shaking his collar (Manda calls it his "necklace"). That crap is loud at 2am when its dead silent.

4. I had to pee. Only once though. Not that big of a deal.  Manda went three times. (just in case you were curious)

3. My pillow kept sliding up the headboard... so I would wake with neck pain, only to find one cheek against my shoulder, the other smashed into the pillow. Good thing I have good chiropractic coverage.

2. The clock on my nightstand seemed a LOT brighter than usual.  I could see what time it was through my eyelids.

1. I didn't want to go to work today. Whenever I don't want to go somewhere, I always stay up the night before thinking about all the reasons I don't want to go... This is counterproductive. I realize this. But it can't be helped.

Peace Out.