Disclaimer: this 5 minute interaction with Ms. Wandering Hands was more comical than anything else. She was drunk and I'll probably never see her again. Which is good. Good because I don't feel like being felt by her. :o)

On occasion, people find me attractive. I'm not saying it happens often. Just saying it happens.

Recently, I was out with friends. Sans Manda. Which means I was without a buffer. I had to fend for myself. I'm not very good at fending.

Not long into the evening she approached. Her. Ms. Wandering Hands. The molestor.

I didn't feel threatened by her. Not her presence. Not her lack of recognition of my personal space. But then again. I have a weakness for cute girls with southern accents.

"Can I buy you a drink?" ... that's how it harmlessly started. I had a full glass in my hand. Maybe she didn't notice it? I'm pretty smooth. I replied with, "No thanks. I'm good." I think she needed confirmation of my goodness. Why else would her hand find its way onto my forearm? Not in a casual way. More in a "your skin is so soft" kind of way. Don't know if you're familiar with this method. It requires friction. Rubbing up and down.

I managed to gently extract my forearm from her grasp. Relief. That's what I felt. This isn't awkward. It would be okay.

No it wouldn't. Turns out I have such strong biceps. I must work out. Or at least that's what she told me. I do work out. So I flexed for her. She was impressed. I don't mean to brag, but I can bench press like 50 pounds. I'm just saying.

My bra size. That's what she was trying to figure out. Maybe she needed to borrow a bra. Maybe hers didn't fit right. Maybe she was thinking of getting implants and my size looked good. She might have been shy. Too shy to simply ask. Regardless, she attempted a hands on examination of my goods.

Normally, I like to help people out. I'm a giver. I sometimes cry at Hallmark commercials. I care. I feel for others. Turns out, others feeling for me can be awkward. Really awkward.

Like I said, I'm smooth. I have reflexes like a cat. I only froze for like 5 seconds. Ten tops. It's really all a blur. I know I smiled. She smiled. I think she thought I was going to give up my size. Instead, I handed her hands back to her and walked away.

Kind of anti-climatic. I realize this. But when you're as smooth as me, actions speak louder than words. I am confident she got the message I was sending. "You totally didn't say please first!"

Manda was ecstatic when I told her about the girl who wanted to know my bra size. Really though. I think her laughter sounded a little forced.

Peace Out.