Crickets. We've had a big problem with crickets. A fun evening activity was chasing the little bastards around with our hand held vacuum and sucking them up as they jumped about. You should try this. It is entertaining and strangely satisfying.
Looking back, the disappearance of the crickets should have raised some alarms. It didn't though. I was just thankful they were no longer dive bombing us from the ceiling while we slept.
Do you know what type of critters eat other critters who eat crickets? I didn't. Until recently, when I meet one.
Every morning Manda leaves before I do. Due to our different schedules, I handle the dogs before I leave for work. This particular morning, I was participating in a conference call on my cell phone. I was just putting the dogs up, when I noticed "it" on the tile.
I thought it was a smashed cricket at first. A large one. So. Naturally. I leaned in closer to get a good look. It wasn't a smashed cricket. Not a cricket at all. It was a scorpion laying on its back all curled up.
Did my heart quicken a bit? Yes. I've lived here in the desert for most of my years . This is the first time one of these critters moved in. But it was on its back, curled up. Surely, it was dead.
Because I was in a hurry, and slightly distracted by my conference call, I grabbed a few tissues from the bathroom and lightly picked it up. I say lightly because I really didn't want to touch the thing.
I should have had a game plan before I picked it up. Now I'm standing in the laundry room trying to decide what to do with it. Do I flush it? Do I throw it outside? Do I keep it for Manda to see?
I was running these options through my head when I looked down to see the scorpion crawling over the side of the tissue.
This is where I screamed like a girl. Threw the tissue down. And ran the other direction. Even looked over my shoulder to see if it was chasing me. (I'm not proud that I looked over my shoulder... but I'm honest about being a pansy-ass)
After I'd achieved a safe distance from the 2 inch monster, I remembered I'm on a conference call. Thankfully the phone was muted.
I was now in a panic. It was alive. AND it was on the move. Thankfully, I'm like MacGyver. Super resourceful. I grabbed a glass candle holder out of the entry way, took a deep breath, channeled my inner ninja and trapped the scorpion.
Fast forward 11 hours. Manda gets home. I'm all excited to show her what I caught. She already knew the story. It was on its back. I thought it was dead... scream... run. etc.
I took the top off the candle holder. She looked down, saw it laying on its back and said. "oh it's dead." The next part happened in slow motion.
I started to say "no, it's alive". But dammit. I wasn't fast enough. As "noooo" was resonating through the air, her hand made contact with the side of the container. (You might be wondering "why smack the side of the container?" Apparently this is a widely accepted method for testing the deadness of critters.)
In response to the jolt, the scorpion popped up to say hi. Springy little sucker, it almost cleared the top of the container. Manda screamed. Then shoved the container into my chest. Apparently in attempt to protect HERSELF.
I am now screaming. This wasn't supposed to happen this way.
I channeled my inner ninja for the second time that day and slammed the lid down on the candle holder. All I can think to say is: "I am so mad at you right now." Then I stormed upstairs.
It was two hours before my heart calmed down. Two hours of not speaking to Manda. Two hours of Manda saying "it was a reaction! I'm sorry!".
You know where that scorpion is now? Still in that same candle holder in the entry way. I don't know what to do with the stupid thing. And I'm sure as hell not taking the lid off with Manda around!
Peace Out.