Okay. I know it's not Tuesday. I'm breaking precedent here, but since I wrote this on Thursday and Thursday starts with a "T" too, I thought I could get away with it. Maybe it needs to be Th-op Th-en Th-ursday?... It'll just sound like I have a speech impediment. No big deal since I look like I should have one anyways.
As I mentioned before, Manda's mother Carol, aunt Rhonda and cousin Jessie were in town for her birthday. You might be wondering how I survived 4 days and 3 nights with four women from Alabama? Simple. I developed a southern accent and tried to fit in amongst the foreigners. :o)
Actually, Manda's family is a riot. When asked what Carol wanted to do when she was here, she had two answers: see Menopause the Musical and meet our friends. Here's the run down on the fun we had:
10. Staying up late, eating home made peanut butter cake, talking "girl talk". It reminded me of my college days when my roommates used to sit eating a gallon of ice cream exclaiming "I'm so fat!"... only to utter "why don't any of the guys like me?!" a few minutes later. Classic good times right there.
9. Trekking to Scottsdale to attend "Menopause the Musical". I learned a lot about "the change" as they called it. It was hilarious until it got awkward. Turns out this musical has a naughty side. More about that later.
8. Driving to the summit of South Mountain. I almost drove off the rode several times due to the scenery. Luckily, everyone's screams brought me back to reality in time to steer back onto the road. We took the puppies too. Garrison wore his
brand new
backpack. Not five minutes after we got out of the car, he lifted his leg and peed all over the side of it. Fantastic.
7. Introducing Manda's family to "the boys" (Stoney and Tony). By the end of the evening the boys were receiving far more attention than Manda and I. What is it with straight women and gay men!?
6. Carol wanted to go dancing. When asked where she wanted to go, she replied "where you guys normally go." Okay, one lesbian bar coming up. This resulted in Carol, wide-eyed and smiling, dancing her butt off in a lesbian bar. When question about her wide-eyed-ness, she responded. "I have led a sheltered life. This is all very new to me. But I am having a great time."
5. Having dinner with 6 of our closest friends at one of our favorite restaurants (Sam's Cafe). Not only was dinner good, but the company was better. Plus, dessert was comped. Being the cheap bastard that I am, that alone made all the planning worth while.
Stoney and Tony are missing from this picture. But in their place is a large pillar. I have no clue why we're all cuddle around that thing like it's freaking Santa Claus.
4. Watching Carol drink 6 margaritas. Then when my back was turned, having her stab me in the butt with a fork and exclaim "I forked you!". Really. What does one say to something like that? "Thank you" doesn't seem adequate. In the heat of the moment, all I could think to say was: "Why, yes you did." ( A side note: I used to think I was smooth. But I am finding more and more evidence that I'm really not.)
3. Taking Manda's family to a gay country western bar and watching Carol, Rhonda and Jessie's eyes light up at all the attractive men. Then watching their eyes dim when they realized they were all gay. One of them muttered: "what a waste."
2. Getting to the naughty part of Menopause the Musical. Somewhere towards the end, the topic turned to sex... or the lack there of. The actresses exclaimed "what you need is mommy's
real
little helper", then started singing a version of "Good vibrations" which included lyrics like "She's needing some good vibrations... ". Then came a version of Tina Turner's song What's Love Got To Do With it... only the lyrics included: "Who needs romancing for your own private dancing..." I managed to avoid all eye contact with Manda's mother during this portion of the entertainment. After the show, Carol kept saying "I don't think you liked it... I didn't see you laughing very much."... yeah. Cuz it got
really
awkward in some parts.
1. Witnessing Carol meet her first drag queen. Then witnessing her feel the drag queen up. Then listening to her say "her boobs might look real, but they're not" for the next 3 hours.
To summarize: Manda's family came, Manda got older, Manda's family left. Somewhere in the middle a great time was had by all. For more photos, visit our
.
Peace Out.
:o)