Knife free fun.

Manda's parents left this morning. It was an action packed week. *yawn* I'm still recovering from all the time spent in the car.

Our first stop was Tombstone, a historic western town about an hour southeast of Tucson. It took us roughly 3 hours of listening to country music to make the journey. Now I don't hate country music. In fact I usually enjoy it in small doses. Three hours was a little much but worth the pain. I did learn a few things.

Manda's dad loves country music. Loves it. I'm talking "shamelessly singing off-key at the top of your lungs" loves country music. It was adorable. And he actually has a decent voice. It was just those really high notes that made my ears bleed. Almost erased those images of him with the machete. Almost.

Manda's dad knows a lot of random facts about random things. Thanks to my blackberry we were able to investigate his random knowledge. As a group, we are now much smarter.

Tombstone was a hit. Manda's dad loved the old western town and the characters found throughout it.

After a quick three hour return trip to Phoenix for a night's sleep, we drove five hours up to the Hoover Dam the next morning. I tried to rebel against the country music. After all, I'd listened to 6 hours of it the day before. My protests succeeded for about an hour. But I was ultimately overruled by everyone else. Manda apparently had forgotten how much she just loves country music! :o)

Hoover dam was a hit as well. Manda's dad was impressed with the engineering feat but not the prices of the food. No he didn't like the prices at all.

From the Hoover dam we drove 3 hours to Williams, Arizona. Williams is found on the historic Route 66 which immediately earned it cool points with Manda's parents. I thought everyone had driven on  Route 66, but apparently if you're from po-dunk Alabama there's a good chance you haven't.

Williams is where the weather caught our attention. 39 degrees. Really? 32 degrees with wind chill. Really?! I knew it would be cooler, but that's down right winter weather!

Manda's dad again earned adorable points by continually talking about the weather difference between Phoenix and Williams. To quote: "15 degrees I could see, but a 40-50 degree difference?!" For us Arizonans, this difference is not only expected but welcomed. Northern Arizona is our haven from the heat.

The next morning we caught a historic train to the Grand Canyon. Again, Manda's dad was adorable. Apparently he likes trains.

For those of you who don't know, Manda's dad was in a motorcycle accident 3-4 weeks ago. His broken bones and road rash are still healing, so he's still taking life slowly and from a new perspective. He was an absolute delight on the train ride. It was like watching a kid experience something new for the first time.

Needless to say, the Grand Canyon was a huge hit. How could it not be? ... well, the bone chilling cold almost ruined it. We had to get creative to keep warm.

After touring the great state of Arizona from the southeast corner to the Northwest corner, we called our sight seeing adventures complete. Manda's parents are already compiling a list of things they want to see the next time they come.

And for those of you wondering, the machete never appeared. Although there were some points during the many hours of country karaoke that I wished it had!

Peace Out!

:o)

Hiding the knives.

My pseudo "in-laws" are coming to town.  That means my pseudo "father-in-law" is coming as well... and staying with us. For those of you who don't know, Manda's dad scares the SH*T out of me.

Don't get me wrong. He's a nice guy. He just loves his daughter a LOT. And when I saw a lot, I mean this:

Back in 2004, Manda was moving out here from Birmingham, so I flew out there to drive back with her. Her car was packed up, we're saying our goodbyes and getting ready to drive away. Her dad hadn't said ONE word to me the entire time I was there when suddenly, and I mean suddenly, he looked me square in the eyes and said "you take care of my daughter."

I admit, I peed myself a little. Which in my mind is better than soiling myself. Less stinky.

The next few times he saw me, he looked through me. Then a few times after that he started talking to me when he'd had a few drinks. Only after the Thanksgiving diarrhea incident  has he actually acknowledged my presence and started what some would consider "normal" conversations. Diarrhea brings people together. Just saying.

Because her father and I are in that cautious and delicate stage of developing and establishing our relationship, I'm scared that the more time I spend with him the greater the chance of me screwing up is.  Not that I'm a screw up, I mean I can be, but you know what I'm saying... right?

Did I ever tell you the story about when he was sharpening his machete? Manda is shaking her head right now because it wasn't really a machete, it was a pocket knife that, in my mind, was the size of a machete. Anyways, he was sharpening his machete when he says to Manda's mom "you know what I'm gonna do with this?". Ummmm... What? "I'm gonna use it on Lindsay since she's the reason my daughter's in Arizona."

I've been assured he was joking, but I'm hiding all the kitchen knives just in case.

Peace Out.

:o)

Chew and Swallow.

During my hiatus from the blog, not only did I drive around the block a lot, I also finished my first two courses for my master's. During finals week, Manda didn't see me very much.  We were two ghosts passing in the night. Thankfully, it was only a week!

We also traveled to Alabama to meet her new niece, Sarah Ann, and eat.  Seriously.  All we did was eat during the four days we were there.  Manda's mom made her famous BBQ the first night of our trip. We were so excited about it that during our lay-over in Memphis we ate Lay's potato chips and Reeses Pieces to avoid spoiling our appetites. No lie.

The next day Manda took me to her favorite BBQ restaurant (Bob Sykes). I don't know if you've eaten a lot of BBQ within 24 hours, but that'll mess with your internal pipes. I had a moment of panic in the restaurant bathroom when my stomach was rejecting the BBQ overload. Remember #10 from our holiday adventures list last Thanksgiving? I almost had a repeat. The bathroom had two stalls, both empty. I did eenie-meenie-miny-mo and went to the right. I was just finishing up my business when someone occupied the other stall. She was the one who discovered that toilet didn't work. I almost cried with joy at her misfortune.

Anyways back to the eating. After a gynormous lunch of southern BBQ, we had a sleep over at her cousin's where we gorged ourselves on candy, pizza, ice cream, and home made peanut butter cake.  *burp*

I could not eat breakfast the next morning because my stomach was on strike. For lunch we had mexican food. Lots of mexican food.  For dinner we met a couple of Manda's former high school groupies and decided to go easy with soup and salad ... and a huge dessert. *groan*

For breakfast on the last day we were there, Manda's mom made breakfast casserole. Don't know if you've had the southern version, but the only thing missing is the gravy... every other breakfast food is included. It was damn good.

On the way to the airport, Manda's grandparents insisted we meet them at their favorite Chinese restaurant. After arriving, we refused to eat. There simply was no room anywhere in our bodies to shove additional food. Well... we did have an ice cream cone while we watched them eat. But other than that, we succeeded in our forced anorexia for a few hours.

We're now spending all our free time at the gym. Damn southern food! :o)

Peace Out.
:o)

Amazing Genes.

My grandma was a brilliant, energetic woman who passed away May 11th. Less than a week after being diagnosed with liver cancer. She had the innocent, contagious energy of a child and the hard earned wisdom of a woman who lived her life to the fullest. And being married half a dozen times, she did indeed live life to the fullest!

Water was her vice. So much so, she was concerned they wouldn't have enough for her in heaven. She asked us multiple times if we thought God had sufficient water stored up. We assured her that God would know what she needed. After she passed, we smiled and said, "Guess she was finally convinced there would be enough water in heaven." Hilarious and witty despite her pain, my grandma left us smiling.

Watching my mother watch her mother die was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My mother is amazing. Her strength. Her dedication and loyalty. No matter how much she cried, she was still beautiful. Me however, I cry and my face swells up like a ballon and my nose glows in the dark. I apparently got my dad's crying genes.

To her core, my mother is a genuinely good person. She'll only kill insects and small rodents. Nothing larger than that. Well, okay she ran over a snake once with the car, but it was only because she didn't see it until it was too late. Other than that, she doesn't kill much.

Through all the tears, there was laughter. Lots of laughter. Laughter because my grandma was funnier than hell. But also, because being around my family always leads to laughter. Someone always says something stupid, or a niece/nephew has projectile diarrhea... or sometimes we laugh because we don't know what else to do.

My point in talking about all of this is: I come from a long line of amazing women. If I turn out to be anything but amazing, it is my father's fault. Since only his genes could screw things up at this point.

Really though, I am very fortunate to have had my grandma's influence in my life. And even more so to have been raised by my mother. (and my father, but that's a whole other story!)

Peace Out.
:o)

Top Ten: 2007 Holiday Adventures

Okay, so it's been a while for Top Ten Tuesdays... But I'm bringing them back. This week its the top ten adventures from my 2007 Holidays.

1. Surprising Manda's family for Thanksgiving. I thought her grandmother was going to have a heart attack she was so surprised. Luckily, she lived through it. Manda's cousin Brandy had the best reaction. She actually cried. I love people that cry (in a good way) at my surprise presence.  (Actually she was happier to see Manda. Which I guess is understandable since they've been best friends their whole lives.)

2. Learning to knit. My mother is famous for asking me to make her things for Christmas. Last year it was a quilt. This year it was a hat and scarf. To make things interesting (and to encourage the early onset of arthritis) I decided to teach myself to knit. It was a long, painful success. Mom loved her scarf (and I loved making it for her). The hat however was a disaster and I threw the bastard away.

3. Spending two hours talking to Manda's dad about being a firefighter-paramedic. This is an adventure because it was the first conversation he's ever had with me that consisted of more than 3 words. The entire time I was racking my brain for questions about a topic I know nothing about. AND to make it even more crazy, he looked me in the eyes the whole time.  I do believe he might like me.

4. Finding a vibrating "massager" in Manda's grandparent's house. It had attachments. Glad to know her grandparents still have the energy. Enough said.

5.  Traversing the strip in Las Vegas to make our dinner reservations at the Bellagio.  Running through crowds, dodging the "scary" people and laughing our asses off is always fun.

6. Sleeping curled up on a bench, with my neck at a ninety degree angle, while freezing my ass off in the Vegas airport. It took days for the kink in my neck to go away, but it was worth it.

7.  Taking Garrison and Lucy to the dog park on Christmas day. It was cold. The wind was cranking. And I forgot my jacket.  I couldn't leave though, the puppies were too ecstatic not to be stuck in the house watching me knit. I cut glass with my nips for an hour, but they loved every second.

8. Buying my directionally challenged girl a GPS unit for Christmas. I searched several stores only to find it out of stock everywhere. I ended up paying a fortune to express ship it... but it was all worth it. She not only loves it, but can now find her way anywhere! ... *sniff sniff* She's just growing up so fast...

9. Attending Manda's work Christmas party. She got TRASHED. In four and a half years, this is only the 2nd time I'd seen her drunk. Getting her to do anything was like herding a cat. She was adorable though. I've never been told I was "so beautiful" so many times. Thankfully, despite the A.D.D. issue, she's a cheery, happy, funny drunk.

10. Getting a gnarly upset stomach at Manda's parents house. Then being directed to use the "semi functional" guest toilet only to find that it wasn't functional at all AFTER I tried to flush. The toilet overflowed and was so clogged Manda's dad had to scoop my poo out with a cup into a bucket. I then watched as Manda carried this bucket down the hill to the woods by their house and dumped it out... more than once. The best part of this adventure? Manda told her dad  that she did it. In fact her exact words to her dad were: "Bet you never thought you'd be cleaning up my sh*t again." I love this woman! :o)

Hope your holidays were equally as adventurous!

Peace Out.